2treehill:

how do u write an essay w/o crying

fatwink:

"so how is school going?"

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flewor:

"was that awkward eye contact or were we checking eachother out" - a life story

deduct:

i really wanna be in a movie but on the other hand, i’d probably make them delete the every scene because i looked bad

sarcarstic:

We’re having pizza for dinner, is that ok?

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vaguelyjewish:

testoster0ne:

how do woman not orgasm when inserting tampons.

like isn’t just like having sex idgi?

This sounds like a Mitt Romney diary entry.

plot twist: i actually died many years ago this is just a queue 

lenalightening:

tropicalfruitbabe:

*doesn’t check bank account*
*pretends everything is fine*

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psyducked:

rabioheab:

what do you MEAN it’s inappropriate for gold digger by kanye west to be my wedding song

Kanye himself probably said this